Your First Lie

Do you remember your first lie? It was likely told to someone you love or at least respected and was followed by feelings of guilt or at least fear of being found out. More than likely your little lie was to cover up something you had done or perhaps to get you something you wanted. Such is the case with my first lie – which I will NEVER forget!

My family was of meager means living in a small, rural Montana town. Mother made most of our clothes and although we didn’t really lack for what we needed we six siblings knew things that were “not needed” should not be asked for and certainly not begged for! Dad owned the local garage bartering much of his hard work for chickens, sacks of potatoes or whatever else the farmers could use for payment. Money was tight for everyone in our community. That is what made ‘penny candy’, something I had grown to love, so difficult to obtain.

The local store’s candy display was in front of the one and only check stand where the owners could keep an eye on it guarding against little sticky fingers. That thought certainly had never entered my mind but I did cook up a pretty good, fool proof scheme to get some of that long sought after penny candy. I even talked my older sister into plotting with me for half of the loot. This was going to be a big score. Not just one piece of candy but ten !

Everyday during summer my sis and I would walk up town to fetch the mail at the small post office where Mrs. Cinder would give us a stern look as we turned the dial on our P.O. box. We always stopped into Dad’s garage to say hello and see if he needed anything. On this historic day it was Mom who needed something….oh, wait. . . THAT is my first lie. Mom did not need anything. But I carefully told Dad that she needed a spool of red thread at the store so she said to ask him for a dime and I was to bring the thread home to her. He looked like he believed me as he handed over the coin. Perhaps he did but maybe he just happened to see sis and me sitting on the bench in front of the store chowing down! Who knows? But at dinner that night he asked “So, what did you need the red thread for?” Busted. Big Time. Yes, I shall never forget my first lie. Regrettably it was not to be the last.

Thus is the failure of our human nature. Being 100% honest all the time 24/7 is not only difficult but sometimes painful. If your boss looks terrible with his new haircut and he asks you straight away if he looks ok what do you say? You look terrible! No. You lie. The problem with lying is we can’t stop. We may also choose not to remember those times when we did lie hoping if we forget them they didn’t happen.

Our society today is full of lies in government, workplaces, relationships, history books, the list is endless. There are so many lies when the truth is heard it is out of place and looked upon as an ugly step child. People do not admit that they lied either. Instead, the big thing is to say you “misspoke”. Is that even a word? Yes, it is the past tense of misspeak, which is a transitive verb meaning to pronounce something incorrectly or to express yourself unclearly or to speak incorrectly. Ok, to speak incorrectly is well, to lie. Right?

Most people get that a lie is a lie. However, there was a commentary last evening on a T.V. talking heads program that asked a question about a politician who ‘misspoke’ in a big way saying he served in Vietnam when he had never even been there. The question was “Well, is he a serial liar or is this a one-off kind of thing?” Serving in Vietnam is a big deal to most Americans and to “misspeak” and incorrectly say you served there when you didn’t is a big fat lie. But now, society may let that big lie go with the dues paid that this person is not a serial liar. Sigh. So, you are asking me why are you writing about politics in your blog for Ethics in The Workplace?

Let me first say that members of national government who work for the American people have an awesome workplace that should be respected and treated with the highest ethical behavior. If American workers can see their leaders ethically misbehaving in their workplace then why is that different from the fast food shop down the street?

“May you learn humility by being humiliated, and may you learn honesty by being cheated” Paul Harvey

Blog Abandonment

I surmise that if abandoning your blogging activities were illegal the punishment would be 30 days of continuous Burl Ives music interrupted every so often with Napolitano singing “Homegrown Fantasy”. Thankfully, it is not illegal but it is rather rude, and I apologize to my loyal readers. However, there are many reasons, often called excuses, for my absence. Namely, I fell victim to the constant whining of news reporters telling me more about Wall Street insiders and a certain golf swinger than I wanted to know. All that greed, corruption and bad ethics just simply over whelmed me. Way too many sleazy stories to write about! It is not my fault….I am a victim!

But a few prayers and a new pair of good shoes have helped me walk off my victimization of immoral information overload and see much clearer that the world needs my blog. That is, a blog that is a fun place to discuss today’s errant ethical behavior and dream back to the days when we were kids and the world didn’t not look so harsh.

My generation lived through most of our lives on our own; honestly and with confidence of a future. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles but rarely did anyone of us die of an accidental overdose. There were no locks on doors or cabinets but we didn’t steal our Dad’s gun to show off at school, we certainly knew better. The old right from wrong thing, remember? We even rode our bikes wearing baseball caps not helmets on our heads, yet rarely left our brains on the sidewalk. And we told the truth about the baseball that went through Mrs. Andrew’s window. Yes, those were the days. They felt honest and pure.

Today’s events proclaim a dirty little world of under ground, under cover shenanigans where money and sex are manipulated – sometimes one for the other. A world where the really bad guys escape the hurt and mayhem in their limos while the rest of us scratch our heads saying, “Well, if that don’t beat all”. During my recent over whelm period, now known as my Toxic Grey Phase, I saw conspiracy in every event. When our government leaders blamed the NY car bomb attempt on patriotic American citizens, I realized that this conspiracy thing is not just affecting me. It is like we have sides and can’t trust the guy on the other side. That would be fine if it were just evil against good, a standard known as reality, but today there are MANY sides and none of them trust the other. Having too many sides, too many rights, too many wrongs is hardly reality so no wonder most of us are left in moral malaise.

What we need to do is turn off the news media, take a walk, and read a book....make that the “Good Book” and things begin to clear up. It is amazing how our computer like brains can shift back to reality where we choose our own personal ‘right’ without being led or misled. Clarity of this nature opens eyes and hearts and even in this dirty little world we can experience joy.

It appears that my Toxic Grey Phase has been replaced…no, no, not Pollyanna or Blonde Bliss! I am now in my Bright Phase….a clear, sharp, un-victimized, joyful person. Feels good.